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| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes asked.
Watson pondered for a minute:
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!"
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Sep 2013 Posts: 1,536 veteran | veteran Joined: Sep 2013 Posts: 1,536 | | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | A woman was rushed into the hospital in an ambulance as she was just about to give birth to twins.
At the hospital the lady was in such pain she had to be sedated.
A couple of hours after the babies had been delivered, she woke up and asked to see her children.
"Doctor, could you bring my babies to me so I can name them?"
The doctor replied, "You don't need to worry about names, your brother has already named them."
"Why did you let him name them, he has no sense! What did he call the little girl then?"
"Denise." replied the doctor.
"Oh that’s not too bad, I thought u were going to tell me he'd named her something awful! So what did he call the little boy?"
"De-nephew, of course!"
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 Supreme Master | Supreme Master Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 |
Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!! Never Stop Vannin'
Member of Break Away Vanners Host of Spring Break At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground
Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996 2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey Host Club of Freeze Out Certified Nats Judge Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 |
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | A lady walked into a boutique and asked the sales lady "May I try on that cute dress in the window?"
The sales lady replied; "Sure, but wouldn’t you be more comfortable in a dressing room?" ==============================================================
A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit.
Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."
Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench.
The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh ... I know what you've been doing."
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Sep 2013 Posts: 1,536 veteran | veteran Joined: Sep 2013 Posts: 1,536 | | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Apr 2012 Posts: 420 addict | addict Joined: Apr 2012 Posts: 420 | | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Apr 2012 Posts: 420 addict | addict Joined: Apr 2012 Posts: 420 | DINNER CONVERSATION
WOMAN...What would you do if i died? Would you get married again?
MEN...Definitely not!
WOMAN...Why not? dont you like being married?
MEN...of course i do.
WOMAN...then why wouldnt you remarry?
MEN...okay, id get married again.
WOMAN...you would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
MAN...(makes audible groan)
WOMAN...would you sleep with her on our bed?
MAN...where else would we sleep?
WOMAN...would you replace my picture with hers?
MAN...that would seem like the proper thing to do.
WOMAN...would she use my golf clubs?
MAN...No, shes left-handed.
WOMAN...(silence)
MAN....SHIT. | | |
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