Vanning.com logo
Boxdin
Site Navigation


Advertisements
Recent Posts
Good day
by lukester - March 28th 2024 12:26 pm
Crazy mods
by MufflerMan Mike - March 28th 2024 9:38 am
Lew Greger
by MufflerMan Mike - March 27th 2024 5:15 pm
1987 G20 Gypsy
by SDMickey - March 25th 2024 9:39 pm
Featured Links


Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
Page 179 of 331 1 2 177 178 179 180 181 330 331
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #691362 July 04th 2015 5:54 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.

When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.

"What for?!?!?" he snapped at the judge.

His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: "Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!"

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented:

"That's all right. You don't have to pay now."

The young man replied, "I know. But I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #691381 July 04th 2015 8:39 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 559
Offline
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 559
Had that happen to me ... got a ticket, went to court, I guess they made me use a public def (I didnt know it), judge said "you agree with your PD?" I said I dont need a PD to plead guilty. Judge said "you must be confused, go talk to the PD". Your Honor I dont need him. " GO!" under my breath I said "this is bulshit" ....as I was walking passed the clerks desk. Well the mic was on & the whole court heard it. Judge yelled $20 contempt!. The ticket was dismissed due to lost evidence. but it still cost $20.


SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO
ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN
ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS
'93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB
'92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #691430 July 05th 2015 5:33 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Things learned from TV:

All crimes are solved in 1 hour.

The Good guy always wins.

When you’re trapped, you always find a way out.

A trip from Los Angeles to China takes 5 seconds.

All women still have makeup on when they wake up in the morning.

When you’re a hero, you will never get burnt in a fire.


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #691433 July 05th 2015 6:42 pm
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,536
S
veteran
Offline
veteran
S
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,536
lol

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #691511 July 06th 2015 5:45 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Only In America - Puns Jokes

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #691538 July 07th 2015 1:20 am
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 648
addict
Offline
addict
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 648
rofl

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #691565 July 07th 2015 3:41 pm
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,536
S
veteran
Offline
veteran
S
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,536
lol

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #691588 July 07th 2015 9:32 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
A couple of terrorist were making letter bombs. After they had finished, one said: “Do you think I put enough explosive in this envelope?

“I don’t know,” said the other. “Open it and see.”

“But it will explode.”

“Don’t be stupid! It’s not addressed to you!




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Less Is More - Sci - Fi Jokes

During the initial space flights, Nasa discovered that biro pens didn’t work under zero gravity conditions.

To beat the problem, Nasa spent 6 years and $2 million in designing a pen for use in space.

The pen would work under zero gravity conditions due to the pressurized ink inside, it would work under sub zero conditions, underwater, on glass and virtually any surface known to man.

The Russians used a pencil.




The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #691593 July 07th 2015 9:54 pm
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,536
S
veteran
Offline
veteran
S
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,536
Thanks Bob lol

Page 179 of 331 1 2 177 178 179 180 181 330 331

Moderated by  Astro 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Donate


Upcoming Events
discovery
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 17 guests, and 6 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
TheDrunkenGunsmith, Jac, LOVclassics, ZenMuffin, Milkman530
12724 Registered Users
Top Posters (30 Days)
SDMickey 129
CatFish 25
frscke1 25
Wedgy 21
Forum Statistics
Forums68
Topics35,746
Posts537,916
Members12,725
Most Online177
May 8th, 2013

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.4